its like i went into my state of depression again... gosh i hate this.. its just everybody's moving on and THEY'RE SO FRICKEN HAPPY! something i cant be and im just so jealous of.. it's pathetic how i mope around the whole day listen to whiny music because it just makes me feel better when i know people are as pathetic as me... i feel as if i need to change again.. its just that i hate changing but im constantly doing it.. and i always tell myself im gonna change for the better but i dont.. i get worse and worse but nobody knows.. keeping everything stuffed down isnt healthy for me and i just feel like i need to take it out on someone... so yeah i get all rebellious with my parents when they do the smallest thing... i really hate myself and what i've become..
and school's gonna start before i know it and im scared outta my mind! i feel so insecure and i have no self esteem right now.. actually i never had any... gosh.. my brother was right.. I AM FAKE because i act all tough but im not.. im BEYOND cowardly.. i just wanna curl up in a hole and wait for the world to end
guess what? harry potter and THBP has officially been out for 18 minutes!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cant wait to read it and i also got WoW back.. so now i sit at my dad's computer all day HAHAHA im in love with that game and i just gained a level today DOUBLE WOOOOO FOR ME!
haha im gonna go cut my wrists and find some rope cause thats what those emo people do HAHAHA